Wedding Vows: How to Write Yours & Example Wording
Your wedding vows are the quiet heart of your ceremony—the moment you speak promises that will shape your shared life. Whether you choose timeless words or write your own, they deserve to feel completely, joyfully you.
We’ve gathered everything you need to find or craft vows that ring true, including adaptable wording and gentle advice. No rules, just inspiration.
Traditional Vows: The Beauty of Timeless Words
Many couples feel drawn to the familiar rhythm of traditional vows, their weight and history lending a deep sense of ceremony. The words have been spoken in thousands of churches and register offices, yet they never lose their resonance when you say them to each other for the first time.
Even if you’re having a civil ceremony, you may choose a version of the classic declaration. You can adapt the language slightly, for instance swapping ‘thee’ for ‘you’ or choosing ‘partner’ instead of ‘husband/wife’. These small adjustments keep the vows authentic to you while honouring tradition.
I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part. This is my solemn promise.
Finding the Courage to Write Your Own
Writing your own vows can feel both exhilarating and daunting. The secret is to start from a place of truth, not perfection. Think about the tiny, everyday moments that define your love—not grand gestures, but the quiet kindnesses, shared jokes, and steadfast support.
Grab a notebook and spend ten minutes jotting down phrases that come to mind. It might be a memory, a quality you admire, or a promise that feels particularly important. Later, you can shape these into a flowing vow. There’s no single right way, only your way.
I still remember the first time you…
What I love most about you is…
I promise to always…
A vow born from those prompts might read:
I knew I wanted to marry you the night you stayed up to look after my sick cat. You are steady, tender, and wonderfully daft. I promise to build a life where we never stop being curious about each other, to hold your hand through every season, and to keep a stocked biscuit tin. This I vow, with my whole heart.
A Simple Structure for Your Vows
If you’re staring at a blank page, a gentle framework can help. Think of your vow as having three parts: a short reflection on your journey together, a series of specific promises, and a closing declaration of your commitment.
You might open with ‘I, [Name], take you, [Name]…’ or jump straight into a memory. The promises are the heart—aim for three that cover big themes (love, support, humour) and one wonderfully specific one. Then round it off with a line that looks forward.
From the moment we [shared moment], I knew [truth].
Today, I promise to [promise 1].
I vow to [promise 2].
I will always [promise 3].
For all the ordinary days and the extraordinary ones, I choose you.
Modern & Alternative Vows for Every Couple
Not every couple connects with tradition, and that’s more than fine. Modern vows can be tender, witty, political, or poetic. Some weave in lyrics or lines from literature; others celebrate partnership in a way that feels fresh and entirely your own.
If you’re having a celebrant-led wedding, you have complete freedom. Even in a civil ceremony, you can often add a personal declaration after the statutory words. Check with your registrar to see what’s possible—many will welcome a short, heartfelt addition.
In your eyes, I have found my home. I promise to stand beside you, not in front of you. To split the last slice of cake, to champion your dreams as fiercely as my own, and to laugh with you until we’re breathless. This is my vow, freely given.
Or, shorter:
I take you as you are, loving who you will become. I promise patience, adventure, and a lifetime of perfect cups of tea.
Weaving Your Vows into the Ceremony
Once your vows feel ready, think about how they will sit within the ceremony. Many couples print the full text in their order of service, giving guests a chance to soak in the words. It also becomes a keepsake—something you’ll look back on long after the day has softly faded.
When you place your vows on the page, consider a clean layout with generous white space and a typeface that feels like you. Whether you’re using the traditional phrasing or your own heartfelt prose, the way they’re presented can make them feel even more significant.
If you’d love help crafting an order of service that holds your vows beautifully, Lilly’s design service is here, quietly and joyfully.
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