Wedding Vows — Traditional, Civil & Personal

The exact wording of traditional Church of England and civil ceremony vows, plus guidance on writing your own — with examples to inspire you.

Church of England Vows

In a Church of England wedding, the vows are legally required and must follow an approved form. The traditional wording is:

Traditional (Common Worship)

The groom says to the bride:

"I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow."

The bride says to the groom:

"I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow."

Alternative (includes "obey")

"I, [Name], take thee, [Name], to my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."

This older form from the Book of Common Prayer includes "obey" — both versions are valid. Your vicar will guide you.

Presenting vows in your order of service You don't need to print the full wording of traditional vows — most guests know them, and your vicar will prompt you. A simple line — "Exchange of Vows" — is enough. If you have personal vows, you may choose to print them so guests can follow along.

Civil Ceremony Vows

For civil ceremonies (registry office or approved venue), the legal requirement is a simple declaration of intent. The registrar will prompt you through two parts:

The Declaratory Words (legally required)

"I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, [Name], may not be joined in matrimony to [Name]."

The Contracting Words (legally required)

"I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, [Name], do take thee, [Name], to be my lawful wedded wife/husband."

Some registrars accept: "I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my wedded wife/husband."

Beyond these legal requirements, you're free to add personal vows, promises, or additional wording — check with your registrar in advance.

Writing Your Own Vows

Personal vows have become increasingly popular, especially at humanist and civil ceremonies. Here's how to approach them:

Structure

Who you are to each other — acknowledge what this person means to you
Specific promises — concrete, personal commitments (not vague generalities)
A closing declaration — "I choose you. Today. Always."

Keep it to 2–3 minutes when spoken

About 200–300 words reads naturally in 2 minutes without feeling rushed. Too short feels perfunctory; too long loses the congregation. Practise out loud — the timing always surprises people.

Example opening lines

"From the first time I met you, I knew something had changed..."
"You make me a better person without asking me to be different..."
"I promise to be your partner in every adventure..."
"I choose you not despite your imperfections, but alongside them..."

Things to avoid

Inside jokes that only you two will understand — your guests are witnessing this
Overly long stories — save those for speeches
Promises you can't keep ("I promise to always agree with you")
Reading directly from your phone — write them on card

Humanist ceremonies Humanist ceremonies have no legal standing in England and Wales (unlike Scotland), so you'll need a separate registry office signing. This gives you complete freedom with your vows — your humanist celebrant will help you craft something entirely personal.

Design your ceremony programme

Include your vows section, readings, hymns, and wedding party list — all in one beautiful order of service.

Start designing →